Welcome to the
NonFunGerbils
Podcast & Collection
Launched in 2019, NonFunGerbils documented the expansion of the NFT era through interviews with founders, technologists, and artists, while playfully experimenting with the technologies as they emerged, all alongside a community-built gerbil collection.
How to Get a Gerbil
Listen
Tune into the NonFunGerbils podcast where the next gerbil name is revealed
Submit
Submit your creative description for the gerbil via Twitter
Win
The funniest/dankest entry becomes the official gerbil description
Collect
Participants receive a NonFunGerbil NFT with the winning entry
The Gerbil Cage
View All
GenesisGerbil
Genesis (Adam) Gerbil was alone, and bored, and hungry, but that’s another matter. The Gerbi-net was a confusing place and he had no one to discuss with him the great questions he had. What is the value of a gerbil? Is a fun one better than a non-fun one? Where is the peanut butter? Surely two Gerbils would be better than one - and many gerbils better than none. The button sat mutely daring him to press it. So Adam pressed the button.
ICOGerbil
Chad was a boy gerbil She was a girl gerbil Can I make it any more obvious? He was a cypherpunk Karen was her sobriquet What more can I say? She wanted him He'd never tell Secretly he wanted her as well But all of his friends Stuck up their nose They had a problem with her trendy clothes She was a VSCO girl He said, "see you later, girl" Her gains weren’t good enough for him His charts promised moon He maintained it was coming soon He needed to come back down to earth Five years from now He sits at home Clicking on Reddit, he’s all alone He checks the front page And what do you know Karen’s got an ICO He calls up his friends They’ve already seen And they’ve all got scripts to buy in He gets in too Joins with the crowd Pays the ICO Gerbil that he turned down
HODLGerbil
I will hug her & pet her & squeeze her & never let her go, even if she is naughty and bites me, or poops in my hand, or scratches my eyes out. She is mine and I will hodl onto her for evermore until she grows. This is my #HODLgerbil and her name is LamboMoon.
100xleverage
100xLeverage Gerbil's trembling paw hovered excitedly over the 'Execute Trade' button. Relaaaax, he told himself. You've DYOR. Two separate twitter accounts had said RodentCoin was, quote 'due for a pump'! The charts dont lie they said. Something about wicks and wedges they said. Ignore that little voice whispering 'rekt...rekt...rekt'. Heroes know when to pull the trigger. Imagine yourself telling Mrs Gerbil. 'Honey, get packing, we're moving to a bigger cage. No one will mistake us for hamsters ever again'. Time to go all in. The button is pressed. Hmm, immediate big drop, 'that's normal right?', give it time. 'Hey, where's my trade??? What's this?? Alexa, what is Margin Call?'
ZKGerbil
ZKgerbil is very elusive. She's only spotted if you can prove you're not a cat. To prove you're not a cat, you need to partially communicate with her through a mathematical message, derived from the output of a transaction with a dog. Should the dog show excitement above a certain threshold. Then there is proof of cat and she will not appear. You'll have to try again with a marmot.
DefiGerbil
She used to Occupy Wall Street, but what her fellow protestors didn’t know was that only weeks prior she’d been a high powered queen of the finance world, stepping all over the boys club and raking in riches. But it never felt quite right. Protesting wasn’t quite right either. One day she bred two pictures of digital cats together and it clicked: in this permission-less digital world, anything was possible. She got to work building and when she was done, she was leading a mob of the people that were taking Wall Street down by making them irrelevant. They were making trades without the bankers acting as greedy, corrupt middle-men. They were funding projects & interacting with staking and bonding curves and quadratic voting. No longer the Gerbil of Wall Street, DeFi Gerbil had helped the people to truly own their own finance.
CounterfeitGerbil
“Best price, best price!” He said it so often, the ridges inside his mouth had become red and sore as he rolled the “r” in “price.” But it was a living. #CounterfeitGerbil had put his two gerblits through college on the back of knock-off plastic balls and exercise wheels. They looked like the real deal, but would inevitably fall apart after a few uses, shortly after his tourist victims had flown home, so he never had to deal with their complaints... but something hadchanged lately. Business was slowing down. It seemed like fewer and fewer gerbils wanted his products. The customers he did see in the night market would pull out their phones as they shopped, but he wasn’t sure what they were doing with them, exactly. He’d shout, “no photo, no photo!” The newspaper came in the mornings, but #counterfeitgerbil would never read it before he shredded it with his sharp, yellow teeth and added it to his bed. If he had, he would’ve realized that his prospective customers had wised up. Quality products were now embedded with chips that could be scanned. If the product was authentic, it would show up on the blockchain. Since then, knock-off products were no longer in demand. Three weeks later, as he stood behind his booth at the market with a frown on his face, the cops rolled in. It was a crackdown. They cuffed his little hands and took him away. “This is bullshit,” he shouted. “Bullshit!” The earth turned and the sun rose, over a smoggy, humid cityscape. Another block was found, another transaction recorded for all eternity. The world had moved on without him; #CounterfeitGerbil had traded his cage… for a cell.
UnicornGerbil
Unicorn gerbil was the last of the majestic unicorns to bring light, love and crypto adoption into the world. Unicorn gerbil stays hidden in the majestic forests and uses its unicorn power to ward off scam coins in the crypto space and teach everyone about NFTs and their value.
Join the Gerbil Community
Follow us on Twitter to participate in gerbil creation, win NFTs, and stay updated on the latest episodes.
Follow @NonFunGerbils