Alanfalcon

@NonFunGerbils #BallerGerbil came up on the virtual streets of Gangam District, chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool and practicing their B-Ball – all with the dream of one day rating their own Top Shot Moment, buying their Rookie Debut, and flaunting it to all their haters. We wish them well.

@NonFunGerbils @hueviews Chilly the #CensoredGerbil was miserable. He'd been born with a strange malady. Any time he tried to say something nice about anyone, his vocal chords would constrict and he'd spit out a black bar. People would get offended, assuming the worst. This made the gerbil retreat into…

@NonFunGerbils #ElfGerbil 1/5 He was furry, for an elf. Every week he'd get in trouble for gnawing on the presents from the workshop (he couldn't help himself!) and his toy output was abysmal. All the other elves tried to help him out, but his little arms and big round belly made him too slow.

@NonFunGerbils #ElonGerbil grew up with big dreams, and developed magical powers to realize those dreams. He came to be able to manifest reality just by Tweeting a word or two. He would Tweet things like "gaming monkey" just to test the limits of his powers. There were none. 1/2

@NonFunGerbils 1/2 Geoffrey refused to get his paws dirty. "I'll never be a farmer like you, dad!" he'd often say to his disappointed parents.

@NonFunGerbils "Do you trust me?" He reached out to the pretty princess gerbil. She smiled at him, eyes sparkling, took his paw, and took a step off the balcony onto the magic flying rug. Except– suddenly she was falling, and the last she heard was the maniacal laughter of #... Twitter•24/10/2020, 15:22

@NonFunGerbils 1/ He planned requital for the fiat-leader’s ruin In days thereafter, to Goldman the wretched Becoming an enemy. JPMorgan's son then Went with a war-troop o’er the wide-stretching currents With day-traders and algorithms: the CEO’s crown he took.

@NonFunGerbils #LibertyGerbil - here is her story, a sociopolitical commentary in the form of a haiku, reflecting our collective mental state after far too much #doomscrolling "Give me liberty, Or give me death," She quoted. A lot. Then she died.

My #PendingGerbil: The gerbil went to put his NFTs up for lending, ‘Cause he’d found an opportunity for spending, But he found his wallet had been hacked, and feared his collection had been ransacked... Then he saw that the theif’s transaction was still pending! @NonFunGer...

@NonFunGerbils The great and powerful #pepegerbil owed all his mystical and powerful powers to his precious powerful lima bean OF DOOM. Whatever he wanted, as long as he could make a powerful meme of it with his precious powerful lima bean OF DOOM it would come true. Also, an altcoin would die.

@NonFunGerbils 1/ Poor ol' #REKTgerbil just wanted to be a musician, and knew if he could just make enough to quit his job, he'd be a star. So he put all his earnings into safe, solid investments for years but he wasn't getting rich. Finally he did enough research to feel good reinvesting it...

@NonFunGerbils 1/4 She descends to the lower level of her gilded gerbil cage, peering through the bars as the humans trip over themselves to present their wares for her judgement. #ThatsHotGerbil twitches her whiskers in disapproval time and again, dismissing the offerings one after another.

@NonFunGerbils 1/2 ForkingGerbil stood at a crossroads. He closed his eyes, and imagined taking the first path ... he pictured a cozy stroll past ancient maples, the leaves just starting to transform into their autumnal hue. A cool breeze tickled his fur. He smiled.

@NonFunGerbils @Lelapinmignon My #SuperheroGerbil Meet #SpinelessGerbil! Able to heroically squeeze into—and cowardly squeeze out of!—any tight situation, but still unable to stand up to his overbearing @NonFunGerbils father. h/t to @GregProops: https://t.co/PD83PlMJDt FunFact™️ that was me in the audience

@NonFunGerbils https://t.co/Tj97AnfTZ8

@PIZZAHUTSA After nearly a full month of drooling over the idea of this pizza, the @NonFunGerbils #FOMOGerbil finally got their paws on one. And now they prefer to be called #FONMOGerbil. And can you please excuse them, they need some alone time in the corner to take care of some business.